I have been asked many times, "why don't you write a book"? Well my response is I don't have a lot of time. I spend a lot of time trying to figure how I am going to get things done that have to be done. I do want to make an effort though. I feel that information that I have is valuable to many people. There are many families with and with out special needs that always need coaching in the area of Faith. We just so happen to have a special needs child, and so our faith has to be at a different level. I love my daughter more than anything but she is a challenge! We moved our family 1600 miles West with promise of a job when we got here, but it didn't happen they told my husband after our FMLA expired they still had a job for him in Arkansas but not in California. We have spent a year looking, applying, interviewing - Nothing. We move on.
We started this journey of faith many years ago but didn't realize it was faith. We started trying to overcome one battle after another and before you know it, all the battles seem to run together. We are now at a place where we start looking for the battles before they happen. Do the battles always happen, yes, but we are able to over come them. Do we get frustrated, yes, but we know they don't last forever.
As my husband was out looking for a job this past week, starting week before last, he and Abigaile started getting sick. They have been sick for over a week now. UUGGHH! I hate it when you have a child that is ill, much less one that you can't give anything to - so they feel better.
It is more than difficult to get anything done while there are ill people in the house. Nothing seems to go the right way. I have learned you just have to do the bare necessities, shelter, food, water, and whatever travel you have to do and move on soldier. God does tell us there will be trials and tribulations in this world, I think He must have forgot to limit ours. It seems like a constant battle. I was reading last night and let me share with you what I found, or did God, like He did know that I needed it (I'm at the end of my rope right now) and put it right in front of me? God does these sort of things.
They were helped against them, and the Hagrites and all who were with them were given into their hand; for they cried out to God in the battle, and He answered their
prayers because they trusted in Him. 1 Chr. 5:20.
Here is what Matthew Henrys commentary says about it, and I believe this is true.
The two tribes and a half seated on the east side of Jordan were made captives by the king of Assyria, because they had forsaken the Lord. Only two things are here recorded concerning these tribes. 1. They all shared in a victory. Happy is that people who live in harmony together, who assist each other against the common enemies of their souls, trusting in the Lord, and calling upon him. 2. They shared in captivity. They would have the best land, not considering that it lay most exposed. The desire of earthly objects draws to a distance from God's ordinances, and prepares men for destruction.
We get so caught up trying to make everything happen, get everything done that we forget what is really important. It doesn't mean that we should never take time to ourselves. It also doesn't mean that we shouldn't plan and try to organize and work. It just means that we can only do so much and instead of trying to make things happen sometimes we have to let it go, and let God!
When you are sick, you really get down time to think about this. My sweet little girl who is eight, but can't walk yet, can't completely talk yet, is unable to take any medications to feel better because the ones she has taken in the past has caused seizures. She was miserable, she was not sleeping, and thank the Lord she did not have one seizure. She did have a lot of drop seizures just prior to all her sick symptoms showing. We hadn't dealt with those seizures in a long time. I don't miss those stupid things, in fact, I hate seizures! My youngest princess was so miserable. Then yesterday, this stinking sick thought it was coming on me! I exercised my power that God has given to me and said I do not get sick and I refuse this sickness on me , my smallest princess was laying her sweet little head on my shoulder and in the sweetest voice saying mommy I wuv ooouuuhh. Well who can resist that. Today I am better, trying to work on starting my day by giving it to God, then seeing what I can get finished besides that.
We went to a really special event last week that hosted Barbara Loe Fischer. I am so glad that we went. We also got to take pictures with her. Yeah! It was because of her organization that I was able to get resources to help in when our daughter Abigailehmm where does that leave us? We didn't have a cent and were loosing everything we had to take care of our child because of our inadequate, ineffective system.
Barbara Loe Fischer is my hero, she has done much for our kids with vaccine injuries and continues to do so even though her own son is older now and her children are grown. If it had not been for her organization I would not have gotten the information, the resources that I needed to get our daughters case. Trust me there was no one, not the Dr who gave her the shots, the clinic, the hospital, or health Department or anyone else that would help me. I felt so helpless. There has been many sleepless nights, we lost our home, we lost cars, we have moved from rental to rental, lost family because they disagree with how we live they get angry because we don't send gifts or cards when we don't have money to send frivolous things like that. Its a shame that's all they care about. Not even a birthday card to either child for Happy Birthdays. If you have family that does things or friends when you have a special needs child, consider yourself blessed. The one who has seen us through all of this and why we are not homeless, we have never gone hungry, our clothes are worn and tattered and we still don't have a job. We do have God, we have always had God. God will be here till the end.
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| Barbara Loe Fischer -Newport Beach California October 2011 |
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